lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
