i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
