Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
