I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
