is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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