is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
