Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
