i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
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