So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
