he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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