I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
