I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
