i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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