Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
