the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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