they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
