Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
50% drunk capacity currently
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
