I have demons in me.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Randomize
