Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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