the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
