I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
