i will never coherently bang her
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Randomize
