pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
It's just like the Real World with babies
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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