Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
