I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
