so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
