ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
