If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
