I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
zippers are such a cool invention
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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