WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
