I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
