I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
