your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
