is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
