when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
