I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
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