2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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