Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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