Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
