Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
