Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
