just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
