we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
ttyl tear gas
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
