After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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