I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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