it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
