were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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