So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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