Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
