So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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